It feels like just yesterday I was holding your hand and praying for you to wake up in the hospital bed. I have relived everything (like I do every year) that occurred the last week you were here in 2015. I wonder what else I could have done to help. So many questions I have. I remember our last conversation like slow motion. Through the jokes and silliness, you grabbed my face and said, "I love you so much Sissy. I am so very proud of you. I mean it." Had I known that would be the last time we hugged, I would have never let you go. I am very strong in my faith knowing that God has perfect timing for everything in life, but I sometimes struggle understanding why he had to take you so soon. Selfishly, I want you here to see all the things you are missing.
Mom is doing so well. You would be proud of her strength and the way she carries on for us all. She still spoils all 8 of us endlessly, loves to shop, and has a few more plants around the house. She has 2 dogs (Buddy and Tye Tye) that you would fall in love with...eventually. Haha! Mom does a great job keeping the house, doctors apts, etc all in shape. She is one miracle to us all and we enjoy every second of being with her.
The kids are growing up so fast and both have their own special traits they get from you. Caelin is a spirited one who always keeps us laughing. She lives up to her name meaning "powerful warrior". She gets her laughter, impulsivity, and yearning to live life in the moment from you. Cade is smart and keeps us in awe of his creativity. He gets his ability to "fix" things, his ear wiggle, and his kindness to strangers from you. So many times as milestones hit I cry thinking of what you would have said in those moments. Charles reminds me of you daily. They say the wise pick a husband like their father and I guess I was wise for once, ha! He takes care of us all and always remembers to slow me down when needed with a gentle kiss. I know he misses you so much also, but he is strong for me and tries not to cry. I catch him using your tools, repeating something you once said or laughing when he comes across one of your "fix it" projects. You would be so proud of each of them.
We keep your spirit alive by telling funny stories about you (sorry...but there are just so many), looking for ladybugs/cardinals, and blowing kisses at your pictures. I am just so thankful for the love you gave me and that God gave me YOU as a Daddy. Your legacy lives on every day down here. I am proud of YOU for who you were in the good and bad times on Earth. I know I told you that at the hospital, but I am not sure if you heard me. These 4 years have gone by so fast as I can still feel the warmth of your hand in mine. I cannot wait to see you again one day. Until then, "3".
Sissy
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