Always in my heart

Today was a tough day sitting in the hospital recovering with Mom and Mendy.  No one mentioned it out loud, but all our hearts were heavy knowing that on this day 2 years ago we were forced to let go of Daddy and send him to Jesus.  I remember the day like yesterday and it plays in my head in slow motion whether I want it to or not.  I remember the early morning phone call, speeding to get home to the hospital and sprinting into the ER to get to him.  Nothing in my life could have ever prepared me for what this day would bring.  His peaceful face, beeping machines, chest rising rhythmically from the ventilator and his still hands are images I will never forget.  I told him I loved him as strongly as I could without crying.  As the day progressed, family and friends crowded the hospital room.  I held his hand every moment I could.  That night in prayer and with a room filled with people, we held Daddy's hands and watched him take his last breath.  The aftermath of services, arrangements, and burial are still hard to believe.  I still reach for the phone to call him when I need to brag on myself or just need to hear a loving voice.  My world will never be the same without him.  Daddy was kind hearted, truthful, and full of life.  I smile every night when Cade asked for a "Papa story" knowing that Cade has so many of his qualities.  I smile whenever I see corn on the cob, a john deer tractor, hear songs like "I heard it through the Grapevine", feed our dogs popcorn, or watch Cade try to wiggle his ears.  Sometimes I get angry thinking this world forgets his memory and just keeps moving on.  In those moments, Daddy ALWAYS sends me a sign such as a ladybug, cardinal, or just a feeling of calming peace.  It is not just my life, but the world has never been the same after losing this amazing man 2 years ago.  The best part of my story is that I was blessed to call him my Daddy.